Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

May 1, 2009

Wolverine Movie Poster

X-Men Origins: Wolverine achieves exactly what this type of action movie sets out to achieve.  I left the theater totally pumped up about Wolverine, the character.  Walking down Michigan Avenue, I was thrashing my arms in a Wolverine fashion, pretending I had claw of adamantium.  Mind you, I’m 25 and have a vagina.  The focus is on Logan and his journey to become Wolverine.  Hugh Jackman is raw and ripped and epitomizes the strongest, coolest “Wolverine” we’ve seen in the X-Men series.  It was fun to see him tear shit up on the big screen.

The movie as a whole was mediocre.  I would say better than Iron Man, far superior to Watchmen, but definitely not the caliber of Dark Knight (though if we started to compare all comic book action movies to Dark Knight, we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment).  The opening sequence in which the viewer travels with brothers Logan (Wolverine; Hugh Jackman) and Victor (Sabretooth; Liev Schreiber) as they fight in the American Civil War, both World Wars, and Vietnam War was my favorite scene in the movie.  It was pleasant to see that the final battle wasn’t between Wolverine and Sabretooth and the plot proved to have a few twists.  Notably there is little to no “blood” in this movie despite the fact that Wolverine’s claws could tear the fuck out of anything living.  The end fight scene is crazy cool, but I personally hate movies in which endings consist of the main character walking off ambiguously from the closing scene.  This of course was purposeful, I’m sure, so this first of the Origins series can fit in with the previous three X-Men movies as well as leaving room for a sequel or tie-in to future Origins films.

The cast is random – I appreciate that.  Why the fuck is Will.i.am in this movie?  I don’t know.  Will.i.amBut he continues his ability to teleport himself to various locations as Kestrel which we first saw on the 2008 presidential election coverage.  (Hopefully you all remember the historic night in which Obama was elected president and Will.i.am was a teleported presenter in Grant Park).  I’m down, always have been a proponent of Will.i.am.  Ryan Reynolds is irritating and I wish the casting director hadn’t assisted in the “reinvention of his career” by casting him in this movie.  Especially since the viewer is lead to believe the Weapon XI is embodied in Reynolds character, Deadpool.  Reynolds needs to stay in the “Van Wilder”, “Just Friends” hole he dug for himself.

The multiple endings were, as expected, a media hype and tool to combat the rough footage being leaked weeks ago.  After 15 seconds of credits, the movie opens up again and we see Stryker “walk until he bleeds. Then walk some more”.  The actual ending will be the same throughout theaters, while this extra clip will vary.

Go see it in the theaters.  Worth the money and the hype and you’ll immediately come home and throw the first three X-Men movies in your netflix queue to relive the previous stories.


Wolverine to Stop the Spread of Swine Flu.

April 28, 2009

Pig Licker

20th Century Fox decided to postpone tomorrow’s X-Men Origins:  Wolverine premiere in Mexico City due to the swine hysteria.  Bummer, since Obama made it down to Mexico and back unharmed by the disease and Wolverine is way more bad ass then the O-Bomb.

Why would Wolverine survive the swine flu?  Via Entertainment Weekly:

Because Wolverine can take it. Because he’s got bones of crazy-hard metal and the heart of a genetically modified lion. Because he’s the best at what he does, and what he does isn’t very nice. Because he’s got a hairdo that only he can pull off. Because, even though he’s only five-foot-nothing in the comics, he’s played by the 6′ 2″ Hugh Jackman on the big screen. Because swine flu is something he puts on toast. Because he calls people “bub.”

Don’t you worry about Wolverine. Unless he shows up at your door…flanked by pirates carrying swine flu bagels.

Inspired by Entertainment Weekly’s strong praise (and in an effort to learn Photoshop), I created a piece of art as a tribute to Wolverine’s ability to kick swine flu’s ass:

Wolverine Kills Swine

Glad this shit hasn’t hit Chicago yet, because on Thursday night, I will be using these:

Wolverine Chicago Premiere


Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine Milk Ad

April 27, 2009


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